The Guilty Conscience are an angel and demon pair who serve as Pizza Vampire's moral compass. The angel is actress Uma Thurman and the devil is actor and narrator Morgan Freeman, both of whom appear to barely tolerate the other and in spite of being necessary to Pizza Vampire to decide on tough decisions, they can be completely useless.


Uma Thurman is undeniably very ceremonial and the voice of reason, a great humanist as well, but is also very tough and belligerent, who also relies on the idea that violence can and will solve things half the time (the other half being words). She views Morgan Freeman as more of a quasi-brother than he sees her as a sister, but considers him a "mewling, pitiful idiot", and they bicker almost all of the time.

Meanwhile, Morgan Freeman is portrayed as an amoral, insane psychopath who endorses total evil. However, because Freeman has the most soothing voice in the world, he is unable to come across as a credible threat, and instead of getting a lick of fear out of anyone, he calms them down. While he claims to hate Thurman, he seems to hold some respect for her, even when she beats him up (and they fight constantly, verbally and physically).

Roles in Why a WhaleEdit

The angel and devil first appear when fraud Bishop Moneybanks holds Pizza Vampire, Vizit, the four men, and Ima Doctah with two machine guns and ambushes Doctah by paralyzing him from the belly downd and the four men deliver a powerful ambush against the now pseudo-Bishop in anger. Pizza Vampire is torn whether to arrest the four men now (being the ideal moment to do so) or to reference his moral principle - cue the Angel and Devil.

When they come into view, it is clear they have been bickering, about their skills as genuine, credible Angels and Devils. Eventually, Pizza Vampire gains their attention, and questions them about the situation, wanting to know their opinion on the better outcome. Thurman instinctively believes that Pizza Vampire should just let the men go and heal Ima Doctah, which sets Freeman off: his different concept dueling for prominence is that he should light a fire (as they are in a grassy area) and leave them to burn, and then kill Bishop Moneybanks once he begs for mercy. While Thurman is displeased, Freeman is horrified to find out that Pizza Vampire is actually soothed by Freeman's voice, and hadn't been paying attention to any of his goading, evil advice. Pizza Vampire and Vizit go with Thurman's decision, which leads the two of them to argue again: directly after Freeman's unthreatening taunting, Thurman lunges for him, and they fight offscreen (presumably in the annals of Pizza Vampire's mind).

Later, when Pizza Vampire is captured by the Exclave, the two of them appear once again briefly. Freeman switches between taunting Thurman and Pizza Vampire, and after Thurman becomes truly annoyed, she begins insulting Pizza Vampire as well. Jom, made ill-tempered from their talkative nature, slaps Freeman with the back of his hand, which causes him to fall onto the prison cell's ground. Thurman laughs, but gets her comeuppance when Jom hits her as well.

Once the Exclave begins getting destroyed due to the combined power of Vizit's revenge and the four men, Thurman and Freeman reconcile their differences on the Exclave's island beach, seeing there to be no other outcome. Eventually, they decide to take a tour across Europe, still bickering as usual, but bidding goodbye to Pizza Vampire as they presume he has died (being thrown into the ocean violently by Ron Clark).


  • Both of them seem to have an affinity for Greek salad.
  • Weirdly enough, Thurman has deep red eyes and Freeman has bright blue eyes, opposite of what would naturally be expected.
  • The two of them talk about movies that feature the real-life Morgan Freeman and the real-life Uma Thurman: such as Kill Bill, The Shawshank Redemption, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, and Glory.

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