Austin is the "official bar trivia host" of the It'll Do Hotel and its tri-owner. He appears completely aware of  Elijah the Bartender's status as an Exclave agent.

Background and AttributesEdit

Calvin jokingly referred to Austin as the 'quintessential sad sack'. Due to his relatively minor role, not much is known about him until Calvin talks to him and then when Vizit does. Austin was born in 1983, and had shown potential, with his law school applications coming in at an early age of seventeen. However, he was exiled from Japan for a peculiar reason: his parents never let him read anything, because "real men who did real science discovered that introducing outsider thoughts confuses the brain", and that if they blindly accepted what was put in front of them, it made for a smart brain. So the blank books were a metaphor for that.

Austin did eventually question it, and was exiled from his family, asked to never return to Japan again (ironically, he had American parents); hence, his status as a trivia host. He is "quasi Asian looking", no more than five foot six, wears thick rimmed glasses, yellow eyes, and has a tattoo on the left margin of his temple.


Austin is portrayed as having a sour, amusingly gloomy personality who speaks with a monotone. He appears to be put-upon, and is unable to get much respect out of anybody; ironically enough, he is, unquestionably, the only intelligent person in the It'll Do Hotel. He does have a sense of humor, which is notably unenthusiastic.


When the four men check into the It'll Do Hotel, Austin is first found near the It'll Do Bar, presenting its nightly trivia game, by section. He reads off many questions involving Sports, culture, drugs, and literature, meanwhile getting lightly abused by many of the drunks. In between questions, he will mutter things like 'I hate my life'.

Meanwhile, he is found later, off his shift, having drinks with Elijah the Bartender, both of whom were discussing the four men who came in. It is revealed here that Austin is totally aware that Elijah is, secretly, a member of the Exclave, and that the bartender holds him in contempt. The trivia host has a discussion with Vizit, the only one who actually walks up and talks to him, and it is implied that they both have a very good discussion about the pressures of work. After Pizza Vampire interrogates Elijah and leaves, Elijah isn't able to make anything from it, but Austin immediately knows that, based on a newspaper article, that they are the four men who were hunting the whale who destroyed Jerkwater. Elijah dismisses him, saying "you're a trivia host, what do you know?" Austin subtly scoffs, and then Elijah has his own epiphany: that those are the four men! Elijah then states that he is not a complete idiot, to which Austin says "yeah, some parts are missing".

Austin appears suddenly at the four men's door, and advises them to leave the hotel early in the morning, for Elijah has made tentative plans to turn the four men into the police, not wanting to 'house criminals'. After this, the four men depart and leave for Al Beebak's Court.


  • He appears to have an affinity for anime.
  • Despite Austin being completely aware of Elijah's status in the racist Exclave of White Supremacists, the two seem to be on decent terms.
  • Austin claims that his nationality is 50% Japanese, 15% Chechen, 24% Polish, 5% Hebrew, and 6% Canadian.
  • On his Twitter account, he appears to have written an entire book, a fictional story about involving a young Asian boy and his friends Sam and Logan changing the world. However, because of his lack of popularity, the book was never published and only garnered a cult following of eight people, in Chechnya.

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